RIP Joe Ranft

In the supermarket, my friend mis-spoke: "Don't forget we need to buy papal towels."

Cleanliness is next to godliness. Amen.

The Tale of the TP


For the 2nd time in as many months I got into a fight over how much toilet paper I use. Is it just coincidence that this has happened when I started living with guys?
The argument is typically as follows:
He:We are out of toilet paper! (aghast because he is yelling this from the bathroom, after he's done the deed w/o checking if he had a full roll first, dorkwad)
Me:Look first, then go!
He:How much do you use?
Me:Enough!
He:I use one @#(!*-ing piece!
Me:(muffled shudder)That's cuz you only got one piece to deal with, Mr. borderline airdry! I've got... geographic complexity*.
He: You aren't drying the grandcanyon yourself!
Me: I layer! I was raised to layer, damnit!


*Okay I'm embellishing. "...geographic complexity"? More like "I got a lot of stuff down there. I'm a GIRL!!!"